


Transdimensional Homesick Blues

by minkhollow



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Villains By Necessity
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-23
Updated: 2009-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-02 04:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minkhollow/pseuds/minkhollow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dr. Horrible has a sure-fire plan that will definitely get him into the Evil League of Evil! ...If only his life were that simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transdimensional Homesick Blues

**Author's Note:**

> This is the iteration of the crossover where I actually play up my 'separated at birth?' theory (which proved somewhat more plausible than I thought).  
> I am still neither Eve Forward nor Joss Whedon; I borrow out of love.

_March 9th_

"All right, so. I think I've really got one that the Evil League of Evil is going to like this time. Going to need a couple more days to really make sure it's ready, but after that..."

Dr. Horrible reaches behind himself, and holds up a ray gun with a three-tier switch, currently pointing toward the back of the device. "_This_, dear audience, is the Transdimensional Portal Ray, and it will finally get Captain Hammer out of my hair once and for all. All I have to do is turn it on and point it at him, and bam. He's safely in another dimension entirely, and I can go about my business.

"My... evil business. Of course. And maybe then I can show her I mean it. Anyway, Captain Hammer won't be able to come back without the Transdimensional Portal Ray - which I'll have, since I _definitely_ won't be giving it to him. Really, there's no way I can't win."

***

_March 11th - backdated_

This is not Dr. Horrible's basement. It's Dr. Horrible, yes, but the rest of the scenery doesn't suit - what light there is, that isn't from the laptop screen, is coming from candles. There's none of the usual background gadgetry, other than the ray gun of a couple days previously.

"...So," Dr. Horrible says. "The good news is, the Transdimensional Portal Ray works like a charm. The bad news is, I... sort of didn't exactly send Captain Hammer to another dimension. As you can probably see. Or will if I can ever get this online.

"I was _about_ to do it, I swear, but the ray decided to act up at the critical moment. Fortunately, nothing's dislocated or bruised or anything this time, but I think that's mostly because I turned the thing around to check and it fired before Captain Hammer could get to me."

He sighs. "The other good news is it looks like the solar cells I installed on the back of my laptop will do the trick, and I _did_ build a 'home' switch into the Portal Ray with this possibility in mind. But it needs a while to charge up as well, so I'm stuck here for a couple days at least, looks like.

"Found an inn, calling itself the Frothing Otter. A lot of people are double-taking at me, though I can't figure out why. I can understand the language, but the accent's kind of funny - then again, if that's the worst I have to face, I'm in pretty good shape. So. Hopefully, I'll be able to get off a few more updates like this, but for now I should save what battery power I have, since I can't plug this in."

He mutters something else, possibly including the name 'Penny,' as he shuts off the webcam.

***

_March 12th - unreleased_

This is still not Dr. Horrible's basement. There's a bit more ambient light, apparently owing to the fact that the sun is up. This time, he's got his back to the door.

"Okay, so. I don't have any extra clothes - really, I only had my laptop because I figured I'd have a chance to gloat after kicking Captain Hammer's ass for once. That's not desperate, if I can get myself home soon, but... anyway.

"This has gotten a little strange, to say the least. Not that it wasn't weird already, but this is 'minding my own business at breakfast and someone walking up like she's known me all my life' weird. Which is... exactly what happened." Dr. Horrible makes a face. "There was something about whitewashing in there, but I can't figure out what paint has to do with--"

He goes still, as the microphone picks up the faint sounds of people outside the room's door. The wood muffles the exact details, but there are two voices, one male and one female. Between them, they evidently have the resources to bypass the door's lock, as they enter shortly afterward. The woman has black hair and blue eyes, and is fairly heavyset; the man... well.

It's a good thing the man's wearing black, or there'd be almost no telling him apart from Dr. Horrible.

The two men stare at each other with near-identical stunned expressions, and the woman smirks. "See, I told you I wasn't mad. Sam, you really should have said you had a twin hanging around."

"I don't," the man in black says. "At least... not that I'm aware of. I think we would have noticed before now, in any case."

"I'm not _from_ here," Dr. Horrible says. "My Transdimensional Portal Ray malfunctioned."

The woman sighs. "Lovely. Not only do you have a twin, but he's a mad thaumaturgist to boot."

"A mad what? Anyway, I'm not crazy, I just think the world's not helping itself as well as it might. It needs to be jolted out of complacency."

Sam's eyes narrow. "Well... other dimensions aren't beyond possibility, but I've never heard of one so well-populated. Unfortunately, the only people who would have all the answers are dead."

"You're actually considering this?" the woman says, sounding a bit skeptical.

"As I said, it's possible. And with one thing and another, I wouldn't rule it out. What do you know about your family?"

"I was adopted," Dr. Horrible says, after a moment. "My mother - well, the one who raised me - said the hospital had no idea how I got there. I always figured they'd just lost the record."

"Perhaps. Or maybe there was no record in the first place - Mizzamir was enough of a bastard that he could well have decided he didn't want two of his offspring hanging around."

The woman raises an eyebrow. "Mizzamir? Really? You didn't mention that."

"Can you blame me for not wanting it put about that I'm related to a Hero?"

"Well, no. Especially not that one."

Dr. Horrible frowns a bit. "Okay, wait. You're thinking that, if there's something to this theory, one of the people who should have taken an interest in the matter... did so by sticking me in another dimension?"

Sam nods. "I'm no more thrilled than you, believe me."

"Really, what kind of answer is that? He should've _known_ the odds it'd blow up in his face sooner or later."

"His other brilliant idea was leaving my mother so addled that she could hardly care for herself, let alone anyone else."

Dr. Horrible frowns even more. "Not such a smart man, was he?"

The woman snorts. "He thought he could tell everyone they were going to be Good. Through magic, if necessary. If anything, he was too smart for his own--"

The camera blacks out; when the picture returns, Dr. Horrible is the only person in the room.

"Well, that proves the solar cells are working, at least. Anyway, that was... interesting. I think I'll be keeping this particular video to myself, though. The Transdimensional Portal Ray should have enough juice to take me home tomorrow, and from there... well, we'll see what happens. Even if the like-minded wizard's dead, I'm not so sure I want to inflict Captain Hammer on these people. Not without warning, anyway.

"And if I'm not back tomorrow... well, I guess I'll just have to miss laundry day."

***

_March 13th - backdated_

This is still not Dr. Horrible's basement. There's daylight-level ambient light again, and he looks... well, he looks like he's been wearing the same clothes for two days. Not that he's had much choice in the matter, but.

At least he's had a bath.

"All right," he says. "I... won't be posting yesterday's thing, if and when I find the Internet again, but the short version is there's some extremely weird local complications. Good news is, I should still be able to get home, and if something goes wrong, I'm among... not friends so much as fellow professionals, of a sort.

"I don't like the part where it leaves _her_ potentially alone with Captain Hammer, but... I guess if I can't fix it, I can't fix it." He sighs. "We'll see what happens, I guess."

There's a knock on the door; Dr. Horrible nods slightly. "It's open."

Sam lets himself in. "I would have thought you'd be gone by now."

"Not quite. I had some last-minute preparations to see to. I'll be ready in a bit, though."

"I see. Make sure you don't leave without your... thing, there." Sam wanders over to the bed, where the Transdimensional Portal Ray is resting. "Or this one, though I suppose you wouldn't forget your way back. What's this switch on the end for?"

"Turning it on and off," Dr. Horrible says, after glancing back. "I half suspected something like this might happen, so there's two choices - one that sends you... away, and one that sends you to your dimension of origin."

"Hmm. Theoretically sound, I suppose, though I have to wonder if you didn't have it set to your second position when you got here."

"...I don't _think_ I did. And I don't see why that would matter, since it's dimension... of origin..."

Sam shrugs. "If I was on to something yesterday, it would explain a lot."

"Like why it didn't actually do anything to Captain Hammer." Dr. Horrible sighs. "_Balls_. Can't I just get him for once, without all these extra complications?"

"...Well. What are the odds he'd be expecting you to show up with an assassin in tow?"

"Very... very low. Not sure what you'd do in LA aside from that, but no doubt we could figure something out. Do you need to tell your friend?"

"What, Cata?" Sam shrugs again. "She half thought I'd give in to curiosity anyway. Besides, she's recovered enough of her wits that she can take care of herself more than adequately, if need be. She's never needed me for that."

"Well, fair enough. I don't know if this thing will actually transport two people, and... we can kind of only hope we actually _get_ to LA on the first try, since this isn't a complication I saw coming. But it's worth a try."

"Spoken like a true mad thaumaturgist."

"I told you guys yesterday, I am _not_ crazy or magically inclined," Dr. Horrible says; the rest of his protest is cut off by him turning off the camera.

***

_March 14th_

This _is_ Dr. Horrible's basement, finally. Dr. Horrible himself looks exhausted; there are various stains and scorch marks on his lab coat.

"Right. Stop this video, _right now_, and go down two. This one will wait, I promise. The others have a little context for where we're at now.

"_Three dimensions later_, that was really freaking annoying, but I'm home now, so. The Transdimensional Portal Ray is an undisputable success, but it needs a little work if I get it in my head to send myself anywhere. But it works, is the..."

He trails off, then shakes his head rapidly, as if trying to wake up. "Okay, right. I shouldn't be doing this right now. I'm going to sleep for a little bit, and then I've got a tour to give and... some laundry to do."

***

_March 14th - unreleased_

This is not Dr. Horrible's basement either - but that's all right, since it's only a laundromat. Billy's in street clothes, partly owing to the state of his lab coat after all those side quests. Sam wanders in and out of the shot, still in the same black clothing as yesterday; it doesn't mix with Los Angeles very well, but that doesn't seem to bother him.

"You're sure these aren't magic?" he says, eyeing one of the washing machines.

"Positive. It's basic mechanics, powered by electricity, just like everything else."

"I have to wonder about your machines, though. Some of the things you want them to do shouldn't be possible without magic, and it seems the capability should _be_ there, all things considered."

Billy sighs. "Except for where there isn't any _here_."

"So maybe it's manifesting as best it can. I'm no expert, so I couldn't say for sure, but it is a--" Sam stops at the sound of the laundromat's door opening, staring in the direction of the noise; Billy follows his gaze, with poorly concealed relief.

"Oh! Penny. Hi. I... thought I might've missed you."

"No," a woman's voice says; Sam shakes himself out of staring. "Not entirely, anyway - my cat got into the basket after I brought it home yesterday, so I have to wash half of everything again. Where were you? Who's your-- suspiciously look-alike friend?"

"It's... kind of a long story," Billy says. "And this isn't really the place to explain it. Maybe after we're done?"

"Sorry about the staring," Sam adds. "You reminded me quite a bit of a friend, at first."

"Don't worry about it," Penny's voice says. "And if you want to explain later, Billy, that's fine, but... does it have anything to do with the latest stuff on your blog?"

Billy looks up, with a classic deer-in-the-headlights stare. "...You found that?"

"Yeah. It explains a lot, in its way. And... well, I think we need to talk. About that."

"Yeah, you're... you're right. Um. When's good for you?"

"I'm free tonight," she says. "Other than the laundry. We could get dinner?"

Billy smiles a little. "We could. Um. When do you--"

The camera cuts off before it can pick up any more of the group's negotiations.

***

_March 20th_

Dr. Horrible is in his basement once again; most of the stuff that was on his lab coat the last time he posted a video is gone. There are no signs of extra guests.

"No doubt some of you were wondering why I didn't comment on Captain Hammer's disappearance yesterday," he says. "Short version is, I was asked not to, at least not right away, by... someone whose opinion I value. Slightly longer version, I fine-tuned the Transdimensional Portal Ray a little, and then Sam and I took a page from Bait and Switch's book. Sorry about that, guys, but the gimmick's all yours again.

"Anyway. Sam's home again. I figured out how to manage the dimension thing a little bit better than 'home' and 'away,' so no doubt he and his friends - or, well, fellow professionals - are having a little fun at Captain Hammer's expense." He smirks a little. "And, well, neither of us ruled out the possibility of a future visit, which is pretty good for family neither of us knew we had."

The smirk fades. "In other news, my viewing audience got a little bit wider than I'd anticipated - but on the other hand, I should've guessed that after Captain Hammer found this, it was only a matter of time. She's not completely upset, but she's not completely thrilled either, so... we're negotiating. Slowly. If there's a middle ground to be had, we'll find it, and if not, one of us is going to have to make a choice.

"There'll be a letter post later. For now..." His smile comes back, more genuine this time. "For now, it's time to do some laundry."


End file.
